I am about to explain this heading. About 19 days ago this
was on everyone’s lips. And, rightly so. Why should anyone not want to express
the hope to family, to friends and, often, to complete strangers that the year
ahead should, for them, be a happy one? A few, very blessed, or very lucky
people will have a year in which they will experience no ill health, continued
prosperity, security or heart ache. But, most of us will have experiences which we would prefer not to have. Some will have faith in a god to get them through,
some in the God, some the support of friends and family, some their own
ability to get through, some the optimism that things will get better, and
some will experience loneliness and despair.
From the very start of the year our family are in the group
of those who have already faced experiences that we would rather not have had.
Today (Saturday 19th Jan) our youngest son, Joni,
hands over the key to a house which he and Fiona have enjoyed as a home for a
little less than a year. Their year began by their landlord asking for his
house back. As of 12 noon today they are technically homeless. But, unlike some
of the truly homeless they will have a roof over their heads for as long as it
takes. There is an upside. The event has propelled them into looking to
purchase. They may soon be moving into their own, mortgaged to the hilt,
home.
Yesterday (Friday 18th) can only be described as
being a major marker to a one of the cruellest events that I have ever
experienced. The family stood together as my beloved brother Adrian’s body was
lowered into the ground. Seven days after the start of the year his wife, his
son and his daughters, my sister and I and our spouses sat around his bedside
and watched as life left his body. I say that this was cruel. He was a younger, fitter brother who should have had years of enjoyable and well deserved years
of retirement ahead of him to spend with his wife and ever expanding family of
grandchildren.
I regret that we did not spend as much time together as I
would have liked. (I leave others to make my excuses – I think that I have
heard them all now.) However, over the years as adults, I have come to see him
as a quiet, thoughtful, caring and even professional gentleman. The service was
not to disenchant me. Every word spoken confirmed my view. By the end of the
service I wanted to shout out either ‘He was my brother’ or ‘I am his brother’.
I just wanted to say I proud I am to be sharing the same family name.
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| 1964 The Dare Devil |
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| 1964 Fishing |
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| On Ben Nevis |
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| Relaxing |
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| 60th Birthday with Cock-Eyed Wry Smile |
The committal was also special. He could not have planned
such memorable weather. The thickly lying snow reminded us of how much of
an outdoors man he was. The snow was also picturesque, reminding us of how much
he appreciated the natural world. The snow changed the occasion. Many polished
black shoes were changed to boots which came out of black, polished limousines
and black clothes were suddenly adorned with gay colours. We could have been
taken for cheerful carol singers rather than mourners as we stood around and
threw bright coloured roses down on to the coffin. I will carry a peculiar
memory of the occasion. On returning to the car there was a toddler standing
thoughtfully by a black marble headstone looking towards it and a bright
windmill stood in front. The whole scene surrounded by snow. Camera-less I
stood in awe.
It was good to spend time with rarely seen relatives and
enjoy the spread which Adrian’s family always offer on all the occasions that
we have attended and see some the images of him that have been long forgotten or
which I have never seen; of happy family holidays with his wife and children.
The battle home through vehicle infested, snow hidden roads
were an immediate panacea to the experience which we had just had.
I now sit at home looking over the peopleless snow scene
through the study window and believe that the year ahead will still have happy
times for ‘one and all’.
